


New York New York

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: High School, M/M, This is what happens when you let me listen to Troye Sivan and The 1975
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-13 03:38:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7961014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the city of flashing lights and busy streets, there's a part of the town where the streetlights are broken and where boys can only feel comfortable on rooftops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm a spark and you're a boom. What am I supposed to do?"  
> —COOL Troye Sivan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric is Chinese and Max is Mexican, just so there's no confusion.

Saying he looked like a rockstar would have been an insult. Of course that hadn't stopped him from ultimately looking like one. Max saw it in his ripped jeans and dirty Chuck Taylors. He was smoking a cigarette, the end of it lit and burning bright through the haze of smoke he blew from his nose. Eric didn't look at him, but he knew he was there. Not a single word was exchanged. Not a glance was stolen on Eric's part. Just the quiet sound of the city below them, and the faint thumping of Max's heart. His palms itched.

He wanted to know what that felt like. Being Reese Eric. To have the smoke in your lungs, to look so calm yet so stressed. Teenagers like that were cool. With the look of someone who's been to that side of the block, and back around; but on Eric it just looked exhausting.

That's how he usually looked anyway. His face right then was obscured by the lack of the sun, yet the city lights looked perfect illuminating the hard curve of his chiseled jaw. He smothered the cigarette.

Max felt an increasing urge to feel his hair, to run his hands through it. His fingers twitched on his lap, his palms still itching to touch. He refrained.

The first time they had spoken, Eric asked Max for a pen. It was the beginning of their Chemistry class, and at first Max was surprised. He was confident the other boy had been one of those kids who simply did _Not_ give a fuck. He was also surprised when Eric made an effort to learn Max's name, and you know, fool me twice.

_"Max, huh?" He said, looking at Max's paper and lifting an eyebrow,"Sounds like a dog's name."_

And then Eric started calling him ' _Puppy_ '. Which was a no-no and just plain _Awful_. That hadn't stopped him (unfortunately), but it did create an unspoken friendship between the two.

The little gestures Eric made at school turned into a routine. He would mouth ' _Puppy_ ' (or say it, if there weren't people flooding the hallway), when they crossed paths. They didn't sit together at lunch, but Eric would toss a flat smile his way (because people like Reese Eric didn't smile with their teeth). Max would even sit on the roof with him on Fridays. It was never bad. Max walked home, and he would just tell his dad he had tutorial or something.

Lying about being with Eric always gave Max a rush of adrenaline, and he hadn't known why.

The thought that— The assumptions that people would make… An odd part of Max wished his father would catch him, so he could hear about how much action he _"shouldn't be getting,"_ even if the actual definition of _action_ with Reese Eric was lopsided grins, pet names that made Max's heart swim, and mentally distancing themselves on the roof on Fridays.

This wasn't a cliché love story about some good boy who fell for the bad boy. Just another hopeless tale about a boy trying not to fuck up everything. And of course he was fucking up that already.

Truth be known, Max was far from good. Which was worse. He wasn't a virgin, and he smoked, once. He jerked off, but of course that was because he was just a _boy_. Boys did that.

He was smart, but he hadn't had that geeky charm about him. He wasn't cute, at least not like how he wanted Eric to think he was. He wasn't petite. Not pale, blonde, with blue eyes. He wasn't short either.

Max was considering himself inadequate when it came to being _crush-ee_ material. He was the same height as Eric. The exact same, at a staggering 5"10. Max had tanned skin, golden like sand and just as delicate. He'd always bruised easily as a kid.

Max's eyes were slightly hetero chromatic; one being dark brown, and the other being just a shade lighter. That part about him really made him self conscious. His name was bad enough, and his different colored eyes made him look like one of _those_ dogs. The kinds you would name _Spot_ because of the spot around their eye.

Max's hair was a boring black. Nothing compared to Eric's electric blond hair. Max loved Eric's hair, even if it was bleached almost white, it looked _soft_. His palms itched again.

"You okay, puppy?"

His eyes were almond shaped and dark brown, nose a button and lips full and pink.

"Want a cig?"

Max chewed at his lip, fingers splaying out on his lap. He _could_ get a cigarette from Eric.

"No Thanks."

Max face palmed himself internally.

 

* * *

 

"Volví," Max nodded to his father, who was standing at their kitchen's island cooking dinner. Max's dad looked up at him through gold rimmed glasses, his mustache moving on his face as his lips curled down in distaste.

"Bienvenidos a casa, hijo," he answered back flatly. "Now were you gonna tell me where you were?" His tone was hard now, accent thick.

Max felt hot all over, fingers twitching at his sides. This wasn't the urge to touch like with Eric, it was the urge to scratch. To scratch at his skin, and at the floor so he could somehow dig a hole and throw himself into it. "School, Papá."

"Again?"

Max felt that little rush inside of him.

"Yeah."

Max's dad didn't look convinced, his eyes narrow and the creases in his brow growing deeper. But he hadn't spoken on it again, which let Max know, with relief, that he'd been convinced enough. That was all that mattered.

Max decided that if he was going to sneak around then he was going to have to be… well, _sneaky_. And the truth was that he wasn't even supposed to stay this time… but Eric's jeans were fitting nice that day, and they were ripped in all of the right places. How could he say no to an extra hour of looking at that? Yeah. _He couldn't._

Max trudged up to his room, a little guilty about showing up home late when his dad was making his favorite. Lasagna.

* * *

  
Dinner was quiet, Max's fingers tapping absentmindedly on the table as he stabbed his food with his fork. He kept his eyes downcast, dismayed at being too mentally preoccupied to enjoy his plate.

"Amor mío," Max's mother said, her hair still in a bun from being cooped up in her office all day,"what is wrong?"

Max chewed at his lip, his naturally wide brown eyes looking up at his mother. She looked tired, her smile small and her caramel eyes drooping. He couldn't help but smile back.

He inwardly cringed at how forced it was and adverted his gaze back to his plate, sticking his fork through a piece of his meal. "Nothing, Mamá."

She rolled her eyes, nodding at her husband,"Joseph," she said, her pronunciation sounding oddly like Max's grandmother's,"Can you talk to your son?"

Max's father chuckled,"Now?"

She glared at him,"Yes."

"Why don't we just talk about _Maximilian's_ new girlfriend?"

Max folded in on himself while his mother perked up," _Novia_?" She sounded impressed, but not really. Her eyebrows were raised knowingly,"Maxi with a girl?"  
  
"¿Que hay de nuevo?" Max raised his eyebrows back, face dusted pink. He had a girlfriend before, last year actually.

…He's not going to mention that she was the one who made him realize he wasn't interested in girls.

"Don't speak nonsense, Angelia," Max's father gave him a smile, and Max bashfully stuffed his mouth with lasagna to avoid answering anything his parents were about to ask.

"Tell your mother where you've been going every Friday after school."

" _School_." He snapped, his face paling when he realized who he was talking to,"I uh— I was at school, I keep telling you Papá…"

Joseph rolled his eyes, giving Angelia an exasperated look that said, _Can you believe this?_

She sighed, scowling at her husband before smiling sweetly at Max with a look that said the exact same thing.

And then she winked, looking Max up and down with a smirk.

 _Your secret's with me_ , was the look his mother gave him, because you can't fool a mother… and you can't trust one either.

She basically told Max she would let him talk about his sexuality with his father himself, but to leave telling everybody else about it to her.

 _God_ , his Aunt Janet was going to talk his ears off when she found out.

"Gracias." Max said curtly, standing from his seat and not looking at either of his parents as he took his dishes to the sink and made his way to the stairs.

"Maxi!" His mother shouted at him angrily, and he stopped at the staircase, face on fire as he trudged back into the dining room to give his mother a kiss. She was satisfied after that, her small hand patting Max's shoulder.

"Buenos noches, hijo."

"G'night mom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/O to my bro Lukas for helping me with the Spanish! I hope you guys liked the first chapter. And a big thank you to my friends who read and supported me when I wrote this? You're all so kind ;;;


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't give a fuck, I'm not giving up; I still want it all."  
> —FOOLS Troye Sivan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric you ass

Max bit the inside of his cheek, his eyes looking up at all of the things in his locker, before he plucked out a meticulously placed Chemistry book. His fingers gripped it loosely, the hardcover smooth and cold.

He wasn't prepared for what happened when he closed his locker.

"Running late?" Eric raised his eyebrows, shoulder slumped up against a random neighboring locker. Max didn't jump upon seeing the other boy, but he did flinch a little at the fact that Eric wasn't smiling at him.

"Had a doctor's appointment." He held up a slip, waving it in the air for effect,"What's your excuse?"

Eric scoffed, punching Max's shoulder in good-nature,"I don't like to be in class when you're not there… I guess." He shrugged.

Max's heart swelled so large he thought he felt it in his throat.

"That so…?" He smiled shyly with his teeth, his cheeks red and warm. A part of him knew, he knew he shouldn't have hoped for anything more than… whatever this was, but he'd done it to himself anyway. This was child's play.

"Yeah, I mean, who else is gonna give me a pen?"

_Except this game involved feelings._

 

  
Max was fuming as he stomped his way to his 1st block, his face red, but for another reason now. Eric had followed him, tapping Max's shoulder to get his attention.

"What's up, Puppy? You okay?"

Max grit his teeth, taking a deep breath and halting in the middle of the hallway. He was about to blow up, scream; but the indifferent stare Eric tossed over his shoulder when he finally stopped subconsciously walking made Max feel exposed.

"I…"

Eric turned around to fully face Max, his blond hair swaying with the motion. His arms were folded over his black graphic t-shirt, eyebrows raised again expectantly.

Max swallowed. "Are we…" he felt _so_ stupid,"are we _friends_ …?"

He wanted Hades to carve a hole beneath his feet so he could fall into the deepest parts of the underworld. People like Reese Eric didn't have _friends_. He had _acquaintances_ ; something Max wasn't even sure he was anymore.

Eric looked Max up and down, his lips merely upturned in amusement," _Friends_?"

He walked up to Max, his soulless, tired brown eyes staring into him and making him flinch again. Eric held out his hand.

"Pen. Please."

Max begrudgingly pulled a pen from his pencil case, and stuffed it in Eric's hand. He wasn't going to deny him this time. Whatever they had was still fresh, still new; Max didn't want to give Eric any reason to hate him. _Not yet._

The blond boy looked satisfied, his left eye closing too long to be a wink, but to coquettish not to be.

"Meet me on the roof again this Friday, yeah Puppy?"

_Max wished he shoved that pen down Eric's throat._

* * *

  
Daylight savings time was ending, which was Max's least favorite time of year. He liked the sun, and the warmth it gave him. The only thing he could say he liked about the winter-like fall weather was how the frost in the air warded off pesky mosquitos.

The trees in his neighborhood were stripped bare from October's chill, and Max could see it so clearly, how warm the scenery was from the scattered leaves and glowing sun that set way too early for his liking nowadays.

He turned to Eric, watching him inhale smooth, and exhale even smoother.

Max wondered how he did that. How long Eric had been doing that.

He scornfully remembered the first time he smoked. It was last year, when he was still dating that Misty girl. He had a few red cups at a blockbuster house party some senior threw, and when some jock offered him whatever he did, Max went straight into a coughing fit and refused to smoke anymore the rest of the night.

But Eric was here. He was here, taking it all in with no remorse. Tolerating the taut burn in his lungs, and maybe even… enjoying it.

"What's your deal?" Eric asked, the sight of white smoke blowing slowly from his nose and mouth looking picturesque.

Max stiffened, coughing into his hand,"You're asking that a lot lately."

"You're _out of it_ a lot lately." Eric shrugged.

Max felt himself flush, his stomach doing flips in his gut.

"So… you ready to actually tell me what's wrong?" He took another drag from his cigarette, the smoke wafting from his mouth when he spoke again,"Or are you going to ignore me again?"

Eric's tone suggested that Max's decision wouldn't effect him anyway whatsoever, and with that Max said,"What does it matter to you?"

To which Eric responded,"To _me_?" And then,"It doesn't."

Max's brows furrowed, his mouth opening, but closing again when the blond boy made a move to speak. "All I know is that if I don't ask, you'll throw another hissy fit like earlier in the hallway."

Max blushed harder, smiling sardonically,"I didn't…"

"You did." Eric waved his cigarette ( _rudely_ ) in Max's face, making him lean back on impulse. "You're honest like that. Like a…"

He smiled, and his slanted eyes narrowing further,"Like a _dog_. Hey, is the puppy upgrading?"

Max's face was hot, his hands itching to hit something. _Hard_.

He opted to running his fingers through his mop of black curls, his teeth gritting absentmindedly.

"Mad at me?" Eric asked, eyebrows upturned in genuine shock. The look dissipated as soon as it was there," _Good_."

And he smothered the cigarette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS GUYS again, YOU made this happen, and I don't mean to get all Emotional YouTuber on you but I got really nice feedback from my friends who read and I'm just really happy and grateful because this wasn't even supposed to make it past chapter 1 and just. Yeah, let me know what you think. I absolutely love reviews and I'm so humble. WOW.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Get someone you love? Get someone you need? Fuck that get money."  
> —Somebody Else The 1975

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a filler chapter talking about Eric and Max's pasts.

Eric picked up smoking in the middle of his junior year.

It was almost like fate had put a laser onto his forehead and aimed straight at him every time he felt that burn in his chest. The feeling of missing someone… of missing _her_.

Love was so fickle, really, it was; but now it was just something distant. So in Eric's reach and yet so far. Like sand that slipped effortlessly through your fingers.

He was 15, a sophomore, about to turn 16 on the 5th of May and a junior later that year.

That was when he met Sonia. The same as she is now, yet a little bit taller than him (Eric had grown taller than her over time though).

She wasn't a bad influence, but she was never a good one either. Thinking back, her acrylic nails were always fang-like. No wonder her hands knew such devious things.

They had spent such a good time together too, drinking things they shouldn't have been. Making every single get-together a zoo filled with party animals and intoxicated teens. Making out in the rain and complaining about being sick later on.

Then Sonia was up and moving out of Albany and into New York City, not even sparing Eric a sideways glance or goodbye before her departure.

In short, Eric had been so astonished and heartbroken he had numbed out the rest of the world around him. His father's words had grown distant to him now, he always got sick of hearing about how this " _wasn't what his mom would've wanted_."

It didn't matter what she wanted anyway. She was dead, and Sonia was gone, the only other women he thought he could trust.

At least he thought she was gone, until fate decided to pull the trigger.

Seeing Sonia again was the worst possible thing for Eric. She was still the same, all bone-straight dark red hair and caramel skin. And he hated that he missed her body. The way they'd just press together and _fit_. The way she kissed him. Held him.

He was at a house party during the summer after his junior year, a whole year after Sonia left him. The party was in a city that met Albany halfway from New York, hosted by a face with no importance who went to a school with a name Eric couldn't pronounce. He hadn't known why he went in the first place.

To be honest, ever since his mom died on that flight out of state, he'd been afraid to leave his comfortable little city; and Sonia going away, worsened it.

But his demons had been eating at him for too long, and he thought he was getting too old for this. He was 15 when he " _fell in love._ " It was over and done with.

He talked to her when he spotted her, her voice and signature scent of cinnamon sickeningly nostalgic. The exchange was a quick 5 minutes, and 2 minutes in, she told Eric she came with her boyfriend.

After the last 3 minutes of her gushing about how great she was doing, Eric realized he wasn't actually worth shit to her, and nothing they did ever mattered. _He didn't matter._

And sure he was bitter, and angry, and a little inconsolable at times, but in the end he saw her, he listened to her talk about how much she loved someone that wasn't him, and he didn't cry or lose his lunch not once.

So he won.

Trying to find Sonia's boyfriend wasn't difficult because she'd pointed to him earlier, and he was cute. _Of course he his_ , Eric thinks with reluctance, _because Sonia's never had bad taste_ ; and he can say that now because he won.

This guy though, he was _cute_.

His face was sharp and square shaped, his olive green eyes oval-like and naturally turned down in a way that made him look gentle. His hair was shoulder length and a chestnut brown; Eric could just imagine him visibly tying it back to put on a football helmet. With the large eyebrows and even larger frame, saying he was a jock (or maybe even a graduate) wouldn't have been a shot in the dark.

Sonia had said it a million times, but Eric honestly forgot his name upon seeing his face. _Alice? Arin? Rex? something like that_.

Eric stepped into the boy's view, fingers tight on the red cup in his hand. A shy (feigned) smile played at his lips when the boy turned to him, and Eric's head nodded to a space on the couch next to him, wordlessly asking for a seat.

Sonia's boyfriend obliged, gesturing to the spot just as quietly.

The blond sat, glancing down at his lap and then up at the other boy every so often.

"So I saw you talking with Soni."

Eric cringed internally at the vocal usage of his former nickname for Sonia, but kept his face free of disgust.

"It's Alex, by the way."

Alex smiled, mischief gleaming in his dark green eyes that seemed to size Eric up in the dim lighting of the party.

Eric took a swing from his plastic red cup, smiling a forced smile. _This wasn't going to be hard._ "Yeah, we were…" he trailed off, and the alcohol burned his throat so bad, but his cup suddenly felt too empty. "We were close."

Eric saw Alex nod casually at him, his long hair buoyant and flopping with the motion.

"I wanted to tell you though…" Eric felt his gut sink, a sickening sloshing feeling making his stomach churn uneasily. He spoke again anyway,"We dated."

Alex perked up, finally talking _to_ Eric and not _through_ him,"Really? What's your name?"

The music was suddenly too loud.

"Eric," he said honestly, looking away from the larger male and then back at his face to gauge his reaction.

Alex looked confused."She's never mentioned an Eric."

He grimaced. _That's because that's my last name. My name is Reese. Reese Eric._

_And she would always call me Reese, always._

Eric laughed, his slanted eyes slitted dangerously,"That's for the best." He tilted his head, sick of the small shy façade,"How's she been to you?"

He didn't like talking about Sonia like a used movie he sold, but he forced himself not to think about it. He wasn't shit to her. She wasn't shit to him.

Alex didn't seem to mind,"I mean, she makes me happy, but you know how she is. She's a wild spirit."

He looked a little distant, and Eric brought a hand up to bring him back to earth. Alex smiled a sweet smile.

"Trust me. _I know_."

Alex sighed, drinking from his cup and talking into it when his lips never quite left the rim of it,"I don't even like parties, but I've been really suspicious as to what she actually does when she goes out for hours on end."

"And yet she's no where to be found?"

Alex's eyes went wide, his head turning left and right as he tried to look for his girlfriend. He slumped down on the couch, defeated.

Eric didn't bother checking if the coast was clear, and he moved his hand to Alex's thigh, leaning in,"How about we go look for her?"

The truth was, he wasn't even expecting Alex to be into him like that, and he agreed to look alright. But not for Sonia.

Alex was a good kisser. His lips were soft and his fingers knew their way all around Eric's body. He was strong too, with all the vitality of a young man.

Eric didn't mind his strength or over enthusiastic nature, if anything he loved it. He loved being held down and he loved having his lips kiss-bitten, and it was this feeling of nausea that rose whenever he thought about Sonia, but it dissipated when Alex kissed his mind to mush right there in the room of some guy's house who he didn't even know belonged to.

It was a one time thing, _really_ , it was, but when Eric gave Alex one last chaste kiss on his forehead, while he lay passed out on the ground with his pants undone, Eric figured something out.

_He just had sex with a guy._

_A cute older guy who was dating his ex girlfriend._

And while buttoning up his shirt and musing at himself in the mirror, he realized that he was _glowing_ ; and that he'd never felt better.

 

* * *

 

In the end, having Misty call him a " _Scum-Sucking Faggot_ " was better than her insisting that he was straight.

That didn't mean that Max wasn't surprised.

She was actually really nice up until the end of their relationship, but he couldn't really blame her when that was all she was to him and it still wasn't good enough. He felt a little bad.

Still, it was a little funny though, the conclusion she drew from their break up. That she was so good that any man in his right, _straight_ mind wouldn't dare break up with her. At least she had her confidence.

_And at least she was right._

Max's time with Misty was indescribable, he didn't even understand why she of all people would be interested in him. She was a little catholic girl with bouncy short black hair and large rimmed glasses. Her eyes were grey and she had the palest skin Max had ever seen.

Misty was cute, and spoke French well. She told him it was her first language while sitting next to him on the bus, and she was looking up at him through her books in a manner so sheepish it made Max want to take a peek at her underneath.

He told her that Spanish was his first language, and she smiled, her eyes dazzling like she found a missing piece to something she needed to be whole for a long time.

She said something in French that he didn't understand but liked hearing anyway, and things sort of soared from there.

If Max had ever been asked why he broke up with Misty, he'd probably just give a shrug because he honestly hadn't known. I mean, it wasn't like he'd ever been with a guy to genuinely _know_ that he was gay.

It was more like he'd never been particularly interested in Misty that way. Let alone any other girl before or after her. With that, came the realization that maybe he _was_ gay, and maybe he just wanted Misty as a friend.

Which wasn't going to happen probably ever because she'd been pretty angry at the prospect of Max's sexuality being anything but straight.

So Max had stopped taking the bus to and from school. He didn't want to see her anymore, for fear of her longing stares of malice, and the awkward tension in the air around them.

There wasn't much to say other than that.

Max had only a few friends at Blueridge High School, but he knew a little of everyone. There was his closest friend Clara, who had long legs and curly brown hair she kept tied back. She was nice, and wore bandages on her fingers all the time. There was also Deshon, Max's other friend who'd started to annoy him ever since he got a girlfriend; but was the best at video games and kind at heart. And of course, his girlfriend herself, Karen, who wasn't really Max's friend, but seemed to force her way into the clique by always tagging along whenever Deshon was there.

They always sat together at lunch, and always discussed every and anything. So even if Max was gay, he was still the same person, and his friends were still the same people.

_And he wouldn't have it any other way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make this chapter longer, because the last one was really short and I wanted to at least try to satisfy what little audience I have. I'm super glad you all are patient regardless, and I hope you tune in for future updates. ^v^ ♪


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're ripped at every edge, but you're a masterpiece."  
> —Colors Halsey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a 1975 lyric like I planned it to be but, I work with what's best, so enjoy the rollarcoaster of emotions that is this chapter of NYNY

"Hijo." His mother placed her hand on Max's shoulder, squeezing,"Your sweater is inside out."

Max bit the inside of his cheek, smiling a forced smile,"That so?" She scowled at him, her expression changing from ' _What's wrong?_ ' to ' _I know something is wrong now and you need to tell me._ ' Max grimaced.

"You don't dress up in front of the mirror or something honey? What's up with you?"

Max's hands clenched into fists, before unclenching on his lap."I was rushing through security. I wanted to hurry up and get on the plane. That's all."

Angelia raised an eyebrow, and she hadn't looked convinced, _but when has she ever?_ Max thought sardonically.

Max's father came back from the bathroom, his large frame settling at the seat beside him. His mother had the window seat to Max's left.

"Hey Maximilian."

Max looked up to his father, smiling the same strained smile he gave his mother earlier. Joseph raised his eyebrows, but before he got to say anything, Angelia was cutting in,"He's sleepy."

Joseph nodded, ruffling Max's hair affectionately.

Max was just getting out of 8th grade then. He and his parents were on their way to Albany, finally out of Miami. He was excited because hey, _New York, New Me_. No more bullies, no more problems, just a clean slate.

Max couldn't stand his reflection when he hit puberty. He was all gangly limbs, or " _skin and bones,_ " like his father used to say. He was picked on a lot in middle school, and when he and his family left from Florida, Max thought he would be able to look at himself the way he used to.

It didn't work.

He remembered having his face shoved into the grass when he went outside for gym class. Feeling worthless for three whole years. Max tried, he really did try to look into the mirror; but all he saw were the ugly demons creeping up on him. The face of that boy who bullied him since 5th grade. The taste of gravel in his teeth.

He felt revolted.

It wasn't until after his freshman year, he was able to look himself in the face properly.

Max was finding himself. The little piece of him that had been missing ever since the demon swallowed it. His mind, his body, everything in him had reached an equilibrium. He wasn't self-absorbed, yet he wasn't as self-depreciating as he used to be either.

Maybe that's why it didn't hurt when Misty had cursed his name after their breakup. He was just so numb to the negative feelings of others.

And yet… he wasn't completely stoic like Carla. Not overly enthusiastic like Deshon. He wasn't even laid-back and carefree like Karen.

_Max was just fairly average  
      And that was okay with him._

* * *

  
Eric tapped Max's desk, his eyes scrutinizing and expression complicated.

"Why weren't you on the roof last Friday?"

It was November 17th, two weeks after the whole " _friends_ " ordeal. Speaking of that, Max realized something,"We're not friends, why does it matter if I'm there or not?"

Max dunked his head when he saw the teacher vaguely glaring in his direction. When he looked at Eric again, his hand was over his mouth, shoulders shaking quietly from laughter. Max was taken aback, and it must've shown on his face, because even after Eric stopped snickering, there was a glint of a smile in his eyes.

"What is it? Max asked eagerly on impulse.

The blond beside him twirled his pen in his hand— _Max's pen_ , that didn't seem to belong to him nowadays.

"You're such a _girl_."

Max flushed, gripping the pen in his hand. _Damn him_.

 

* * *

 

He's been doing this a lot lately, whatever this was. His lungs were starting to scream at him from the secondhand smoke, and Max suddenly wondered why he was there.

Was it because he _liked_ Eric?

Just the thought of that makes Max's hands itch, and his brows furrow. He was doing his bidding day-by-day for him because he _liked_ him?

Max felt a scalding heat running up his neck, flushing deep and red. He folded in on himself with the embarrassing thought: _like, like-like him._ He shuddered.

It's like Max is malfunctioning, he thinks he is, because Reese Eric isn't someone he would _ever_ give his heart to. And of course Max liked things _about_ Eric. He liked his aura, he liked his attention, his company, his… _legs in those jeans—_ but, Max never saw himself liking him as a person.

The itching feeling intensified, _How shallow_.

It was never supposed to get this deep, yet Max dug his own hole without realizing it.

"Hey… if you keep staring off into space like that, I'll really think you'll end up jumping."

Max attempted to speak, but the smoke invaded his lungs before he could get anything out. He gave a dry cough,"What are you talking about?"

Their legs dangled off of the edge of the building's roof, nighttime threatening Max with the sky's dimness. He didn't want to go home yet.

"You know what I'm talking about," Eric's blond hair looked bright in the smoke,"You gonna plummet to your doom or something? You look like someone who'd jump off a building like this."

Now Eric was just goading him.

"I wasn't thinking of jumping off, you're crazy."

Eric scoffed, his mouth curling into a smile. He leant forward blowing his smoke directly into Max's face and making the dark haired boy wave violently to fan himself free of suffocation.

"Distracted yet?"

" _Stop_ ," Max coughed,"doing that—!"

Eric only laughed. _Seriously, why was he so weird sometimes?_

It was quiet for a while, Max's eyebrows raising when he saw Eric's face change.

The silence was more chokingly thick than the smoke.

"…I have…" a pause, Eric's tongue darting out to wet his lips. His chest heaved, as if he said something he shouldn't have,"…thought of jumping, I meant."

Max visibly itched at the skin of his hands, unable to resist it. He was numb to this now— the negativity, the demons. He saw them, swirling around Eric and pulling him in deeper to his own pit of self hatred.

 _So why had he_ —? Why wasn't the feeling of indifference washing over him in waves?

 _Why do I care_?

Eric's face contorted into something akin to disgust. His pale palm pressing against the ground to lift himself up.

Horror crossed Max's features.

_He said that out loud._

"Uh, ah, Reese—!?" Eric's first name tasted foreign on his tongue, but he said it anyway, wanting him to stop in shock, to do anything but leave. It hadn't worked; Eric was making way for the door and Max was scrambling to get up without potentially falling to his death.

He stepped right in front of the blond, and Max had noticed for the first time: He was 3 inches taller than Eric.

His face was unreadable, his lips pressed into a flat line.

"Reese—" "I _don't_ like being called that."

Max grit his teeth, his bare arms getting goosebumps from the cool evening air,"You're so flip-floppy!"

Eric folded his arms, scoffing," _Excuse me_ for not being so honest like a _puppy_."

"Well _excuse me_ for being so hard to understand like a…" Max stepped forward, his chest pressing against Eric's in an ominous manner. He looked down at him, relishing the distance between them now," _A girl._ "

Eric's narrow eyes narrowed further, his mouth closing and pale cheeks burning a deep pink.

"Bring my pen Monday." He growled out, bumping Max's shoulder and breezing past him.

Max felt like he'd just won something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for being patient with me!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "'Too good to be good for me  
> Too bad that that's all I need"  
> —TOO GOOD Troye Sivan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I got a laptop! I'm so excited I get to write on here, it'll be soooo much easier :^)

_**MONDAY** _

 

"Do you want to come over this weekend?" Carla stared blankly at Max, the question sounding empty and uninviting. Even if her voice seemed dull, Max knew she wanted him to say yes. He watched her tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "My mom says she misses you."

That made him smile. Carla's mom was always nice to him. They conversed in Spanish sometimes, but he felt bad because Carla couldn't speak it. She lived with her dad in Alabama most of her life, and he never taught it to her. That's what she told Max anyway.

"That's nice," he said, meaning it. "When do you want me over?"

 "You can walk home with me on Friday." She said through a mouthful of her sandwich. She always brought her own lunch.

 Deshon wasn't there, probably with Karen. Max felt himself bite the inside of his cheek, sticking a straw through his milk carton.

 "I might be busy..." Carla had no expression on her face, but somehow she looked upset. "Oh..." her voice was distant, her light brown eyes looking down into Max's. She was an athlete, taller than him by at least 4 inches.

 "So Saturday?"

 Max smiled, bringing the straw to his lips and sipping,"Yeah."

 

* * *

 

_**TUESDAY** _

 

Max felt like something was going to happen.

It was a weird feeling that made his hairs stand on end. He hadn't gotten it since he'd moved up north, and that feeling only came when danger was on it's way. A sudden chill that brought goosebumps on his skin... A warning for bullies, for bad grades, for bad... _days._

 Tuesday, he woke up at 2:30 PM. He was unfathomably late to school, and that meant missing first block with Eric... second block, third, most of forth...

 

_Max missed school._

 

He recalled going to sleep at 4 AM because he did his Economics class project late, and the truth was, he wasn't even supposed to be sleeping. it was around 4:50 and Max was due at 6 to start getting ready. But it was only some _"much needed shut eye."_

 

_"Only an hour," he said,"It'll be fine."_

 

2:50 PM, and Max had on a shirt, his pants, and one shoe. His left foot was being a hipster today apparently, and it wanted to make being bare a new trend. Max, unfortunately for his left foot, was not having that.

 He had no belt, so his pants were falling off of his ass, and as for his hair... he chose not to deign anyone who asked with the name of the hurricane that wept through it. Max had his toothbrush half inside of his mouth, Colgate foam and saliva dripping all over his Marvel T-shirt and the floor as he searched under his bed for his left shoe.

 

**_"Maxi?!"_ **

 

Max made an ugly noise as his mom caught him in his room, pants falling off of his backside as he had one arm under his bed and the other furiously brushing his teeth. He spoke messily," _Mom...?_ "

 Angelia watched her son and brought her french-tipped nails to her temples, rubbing hard and slow in exasperation.

 "What happened to you hijo? Why are you home?"

 

_Max wanted to die._

 

"I overslept." He said truthfully,"I was doing a project, and I-"

 He choked on his toothbrush, his face paling as he went into a coughing fit. All he could think was, _What would Eric think of me if I died? "Boy dies of tooth brush digestion."_ _That wouldn't be very cool._

 " _HIJO?_ " she ran up behind him, flustered. Her son was probably going to die, and all Max could hear was her screaming at him.

 He coughed, once, twice. Three times... and the toothbrush was out. Max dry heaved.

 

It was 3:28. He missed school.

* * *

 

_**WEDNESDAY** _

 

Eric's jeans were blue on Wednesday, and nothing ever happened on Wednesdays, but Eric _always_ wore dark pants.

Max spotted him in the lunch line, his jeans a washed out cerulean, tight, _as always_ , and ripped at the knee in a way that suggested that they did not come like that.

He jogged up and got in line right behind Eric, grabbing a tray of pizza and plucking an apple from the serving area.

"Hey..."

Eric turned around, looking at Max differently. He looked antsy, maybe that was because he needed to smoke or something. Max frowned down at him. He would tell Eric to quit someday.

"Hey." Eric said curtly, not looking at Max, and moving through the line. He wanted to gauge his attention somehow.

"I.." He moved forward, putting some broccoli on his tray just because it was there. "I like your pants."

Eric's shoulders started to shake, his head turning to toss a smile back over at Max.

"You checking out my ass or something?"

Max flushed, _he wasn't..._

"I wasn't, _ugh,_ don't say things like that," he watched the blond put in his lunch number, before following suit,"I- You just, never wear light-colored pants."

 Eric was looking at Max with a serious expression now. "You're not my friend, don't notice _things_ about me like we are."

 "Just making an observation.." he said casually, glancing at Carla and Deshon apologetically as he followed Eric.

 "They're just pants." Eric said, rolling his shoulders, and giving Max a questioning glare. He flinched a little, gripping his tray.

 Max didn't understand why he was making things so complicated. Maybe he was a girl.

 "Yeah, guess so."

 He sat next to Eric at a table, looking over at his friends one more time.

 

Carla was... _scowling_ , and Deshon was talking it up with Karen.

 

"Why are you here?" The blond asked without any real bite to it. Max had never really seen Eric eat before, and the action is mundane, but that doesn't stop him from staring. Max doesn't realize he is though until Eric is giving him an odd look. He stares down at his broccoli.

 

Silence.

 

"Uh hello?" Eric was eating a grilled cheese, and he didn't look that happy about it. "Why are you here?"

Max had zoned out, and somewhere along the line, he unconsciously took a bite of his pizza. He talked around it,"Why are you..?"

 

 _It was a dumb response_.

 

"You're at _my_ table."

Max felt ridiculous,"I don't see your name on it."

Eric looked annoyed,"Stop fucking with me." He said dryly, still no anger, only weariness. Max wanted his attention, but not like this.

"Do you always eat alone?"

 "I _try_ to." A hint. Max saw it. He ignored it.

 "That's too bad." He said anyway, knowing that the mood was wrong and he wasn't supposed to.

 It was supposed to be silent when they were near each other, but lately they talked a lot. Not in a good way like Max had wanted, but Eric wasn't exactly a "good" person.

 Max looked up at the clock, wiping his hands on his pants. _12:13._ 2 more minutes and lunch was over.

 He watched Eric finish his grilled cheese, before wiping his fingers clean on a napkin, and Max suddenly felt class-less. Like he didn't have manners.

 Eric spoke,"Tomorrow..."

 Max looked up.

 

_"Don't sit next to me."_

 

And then the bell rung.

 

* * *

 

 

_**THURSDAY** _

 

There was a lab in chemistry.

Max tapped Eric's desk, watching him look up through his mess of blond hair. He hadn't asked to meet him on the roof at all that week, but Max would show up anyway.

 

"What?"

 

Max held his gaze for a few seconds, before looking ahead at the board,"Do you want to be my partner for the lab today?"

Eric's face scrunched up as if he were being asked to eat another grilled cheese.

 

Then he said, sarcastically," _Of course_."

Max looked at Eric incredulously,"Uh..."

"Yeah... No," the blond said, turning back to his paper.

"Hey, I-" Max was met with an angry glare from Eric when he tried to speak again. He spoke _anyway_ , something else he was doing a lot lately,"This isn't about the lab, actually. I just want a chance to talk to you."

Eric scoffed,"You don't know me."

Max whisper-shouted, _"You're not letting me!_ "

The teacher cleared her throat,"Mr.Suarez," she wasn't looking at him, the blue light from her computer screen reflecting off of her square glasses.

 

"Please be quiet."

 

Max grimaced,"Yes Ma'am."

He looked over at Eric, squinting as if to say, _This is all your fault_.

Eric smiled for the first time in a while, and Max had an invasive thought saying,

 

_"I would get in trouble all the time for that smile."_

 

* * *

 

 

He told his father he was going to Carla's on Saturday, and he got the exact same reaction he thought he would.

"Don't you usually meet with your girlfriend on Fridays?" Joseph smiled, Max didn't.

"No." He said, and then,"She's just my friend."

Max's father hummed with an astute look on his face, eyes crinkling and mouth curved into a smile. _If you say so_.

Max wanted to scream, _I'm gay! I like guys!_ but he refrained, for the sake of his father not having 7 heart attacks and a stroke on the spot.

The truth was, Max wasn't ready for Joseph to know; and maybe he wasn't ready to find out either.

 

* * *

 

  _ **FRIDAY**_

 

_"Friday is the day of expectations, no misdirection, and finding a safe haven."_

 

Max rubbed his eyes, trying his hardest to stay awake. Literature was _so_ boring, and he could physically feel himself dozing off.

 

_"Friday is the day of no limitations, happiness, merit, and celebration."_

 

Eric flashed in his mind briefly. He didn't show up to school that day, and Max, in all of his bitter glory, thought that this poem was a joke. 5 more minutes and he was out of here.

 

_"Friday is the day of complications, confrontations, and communication."_

Max gathered his books on his desk, his fingers drumming absentmindedly on his desk. The bell was probably a few minutes late, because it was past 3:20 and he still wasn't at his locker. **** ~~~~

_"So gather your miscalculations, because Friday,"_ the girl speaking paused, giving the class a glance for suspense, _"is the day of expectations, no misdirection, and finding a safe haven."_

The class snapped, and the red haired girl reading smiled, her freckled cheeks warm from the praise. Max thought she was cute, despite almost falling asleep during her poem. Literature sucked, but he snapped too, his eyes droopy and unfocused.

"Thank you Lylah." The plump old woman said, beckoning the girl to rejoin the class in her seat. She rose from her teacher desk, smiling bright at the sea of high schoolers. The teacher clasped her ringed fingers together, her ivory hair long and flowing over her shoulders. Then the bell rung, and she bid the gang of teenagers farewell with a cheery, _"Have a good weekend!"_

Max pressed his books to his chest, breezing past the woman with a soft smile and a nod. He took off down the hall, flying to his locker and twisting the small dial quickly.

He tried to click his locker open.

 

_It didn't work._

 

Max sighed through his nose, trying again.

 

_Another fail._

 

_"¡Joder!"_

He kicked the locker, his tennis shoes smudging the cream colored paint and squeaking when brought back to the ground.

"Uh... 'xcuse me...?"

Max turned around, his dark hair tickling his face as he stared up at the other male's.

"That's... My locker."

Max visibly paled, turning around to regard the locker number. '980'. His locker was 982, two lockers down.

He swallowed. "Oh... Ah, sorry. You know how it is," Max's cheeks were warm, the color filling back into his face as he sputtered nervously. "Little hard to tell when all of the lockers look the same."

"Yeah..." the tall boy said apathetically. He reminded Max of Carla, dull eyes, looming height, and all.

Max felt small, and he gave the larger boy an awkward smile, followed by an even more awkward laugh,"Max, by the way." He said, shuffling away subtly.

"Jared."

"Cool... Nice to meet you. Sorry, for your locker."

The hallway felt washed out, the sea of students gone from the halls. At home to enjoy their weekends.

Yet here Max was, sulking in front of his locker, fingers tight around the strap of his bookbag and heart loud in his ears. He had to do something.

His multicolored eyes flitted over to the case of stairs that led to the roof. The seniors were on the top floor of the school, so Max never had to worry about rushing to Eric. He ran a hand through his hair, chest tight and shoulders heavy. _He would tell Eric how he felt._

 

Max's feet dragged him past the doors, the squeaking of his shoes echoing as he made his way up the stairs. He almost tripped, his laces coming undone just as he reached the last step. Later, he'd tie those later.

He burst through the door, and his hopes, his dreams, his everything flashed behind his closed eyelids. The dropping of Max's stomach was replaced by the swelling of his heart when he saw that familiar stark blond hair, flowing slightly from the soft afternoon breeze. It was him.

 

"Eric...?"

 

Eric wasn't covered by his signature cloud of smoke, but when he turned around, a cigarette was positioned right in between his pink lips. Max ran a hand through his hair, whispering softly to himself,"Gracias a Dios..."

 

"Hey..." the blond said slowly, apprehensively.

 

Max strode closer, stopping a little when he saw Eric flinch. The tension around them skyrocketed, and the air felt thick and hot in Max's throat. He swallowed to keep his nerves at bay.

 

"Why are you.." Eric started, but faltered, his soulless eyes downcast. He turned back around, legs dangling off the edge of the roof.

 

Max jogged up behind him and sat down, smiling at the other boy. His smile fell instantly when he saw Eric frowning at his side.

He shuffled a little, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly,"...You... Weren't in class today."

 

Eric breathed, going to light the cigarette in his mouth.

And Max reached out, grabbing Eric's wrist.

 

"You don't need to do that..." he spoke again, looking the blond dead in the face. "It's... no good for your health."

 

_"Why do you care..."_

 

Eric yanked his arm away, scowling. What he said wasn't a question, but an opening. An invitation held out with quaking hands. Max didn't understand, but he felt himself laughing, dry and cold as the breeze caressed his tan cheeks.

 _"I don't know..."_ he said, looking down at his hands. The itchy feeling was crawling up through his fingers, wrapping around his wrists and flowing up his arms.

 

"But if you're still angry with me about calling you a girl then-"

Eric made an ugly noise of frustration, his eyes slit and face contorted as if burned,"This isn't _about_ that."

 

Max said nothing, and neither did Eric; there was a long pause.

 

"Last Friday I told you. I _told_ you I thought of jumping and you—"

 

"Eric."

 

"You didn't care, so what's with this?! Showing up like everything's okay, like we're _friends._ "

 

Max bit his lip, the cotton in his throat making it hard to breathe.

 

"And then you just, kept- you kept making me want to-" Eric looked well on the verge of choking as well.

Max leaned forward, reaching for Eric, but stopping himself halfway.

 

"I'm sorry..."

 

"Huh?" Eric looked stunned, but his face changed again to a scowl, his face bright pink.

 

_Max wanted to kiss him._

He inwardly cringed, flushing hard at himself. He's never thought that way about any guy specifically. Yet here Eric was, equally embarrassed and so, _so_ in reach.

_He could just lean over and-_

 

 _"I'm sorry."_ He said again," Do I need to translate? _Lo siento._ There, I just," Max reached out again, and this time their fingers brushed. The burning itch of his hand and arm was replaced with a tingling shocking sensation. His heart pounded loud, drowning out the soft sound of the breeze. "You don't let me talk to you."

 

Eric jerked his hand away, face red now,"You forget puppy. _We. Are not. Friends._ "

 

" _Dios mío,_ " Max whispered, moving his hand back to his side,"you really are stubborn."

 

"And you aren't?!" He was angry now.

 

Max vacillated, his hands turning into fists at his sides. He felt the feeling intensify, the need to kiss Eric.

He sighed,"I never said that..."

Eric was the one hesitating this time; he looked down. His cheeks were still red and his hair was shielding his face.

The sky was dim now, the city swallowing the sun as the minutes rolled by.

 

"My friends don't like you."

 

Eric looked at Max again, eyebrow raised curiously,"And...?"

 

Max smiled,"I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9/24 was my birthday, and can you believe I actually started this chapter then and finished it this late?? LOL, at least it's long... I'm really happy with the support my friends have been giving me with this, and as always, thanks for being patient with me.


End file.
